Exercise is stupid. It’s not, but it is.

 

I really don’t understand people who love to exercise. I mean, I would love to be one of those women that gets excited to get up early and run. I will do a lot of  thinking about getting up and running. I will even set my alarm, but I as soon as I wake up early the next morning that urge is gone. I go straight back to sleep.

BUT! I decided that type of attitude won’t help me in life. Because even though I am in good lean shape now, I possibly won’t be in the same shape when I’m 30 or 40 (also I have to go to wedding and I figured it wouldn’t be the worse thing to lose a couple of pounds). So I decided to take an exercise class. It kicked my butt.  I seriously felt like crying at the end, I was so ashamed and sore. And I just went to the orientation that is only 30 minutes long!!!! Tomorrow I’m supposed to go for an hour and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do it. I am so sore from that 30 minute class that I can hardly move.

And today I had to work!! I can’t walk without crying, so I am silently pushing myself to move around at work. I had to mop the floor and it was some serious kind of torture for my arms. I recommend it to anyone who is trying to punish someone.

The place I work at has this really old janitor mops that, in my opinion, really doesn’t pick up any dirt.  My arms were extremely sore from doing 30 pull-ups, and every time I would swing that heavy mop around, a sharp aching pain went through my arms.

The only thing that got me through it was that I kept thinking of a scene from Disney’s Pocahontas 2. The scene has this old man complaining about mopping the deck of the ship. He keeps yelling “I’m swabbing! Everybody look I’m swabbing!”

It just reminded me of my situation because I felt like my body was falling apart like an old person’s. And I was being forced to mop this room that wasn’t going to get clean because we have a crappy mop. I decided that I was just going to pretend that I was that old man and that the party room I was mopping was the ship. I start screaming the “swabbing” line around the room and then my manager walks into the room and says “Floyd, what are you doing?”

I then. you know, smile and mention it’s from Pocahontas 2. Which apparently she hasn’t seen. I mean it’s obviously not as good as the first movie, but you should still see it. The bad guy from Titanic is John Rolfe!!! But my obsession for Pocahontas is for a different day.

But I guess that’s how you get through things. You pretend you’re a cranky old man from a movie instead of dealing with the reality that you are a 20-year-old girl/woman who is in terrible shape and needs to do more pull-ups.

Concluding, I don’t know how those crazy actresses and models do it. Looking so gorgeous and saying “Oh I’m addicted to my workout plan.” Because for me, that addiction is just messed up. The best kind of addiction would most likely be sitting on your couch watching t.v. with some chips and a coke. I obviously don’t do drugs.